KRAZEE MEDICAL POSTING

• I was calling the Kota Bahru Hospital in Kelantan to trace some results (our bone marrows are being sent there routinely) & was connected to the Haematology Lab. The lady staff who answered the phone greeted me with a “Selamat pagi, haemoglobin lab”. Then she started laughing & told her colleagues that she had accidentally said ‘haemoglobin’ instead of ‘haematology’ before attending to me again.

• One of the HOMOs (House Officer/ Medical Officer) at the Female Medical Ward was calling Hospital Kuala Lumpur one morning to refer a case to an Endocrinologist there. She asked the operator to connect her to the Endocrine Clinic. The operator replied, “Endocrine? Nama doktor ke tu?”

• The Medical Department has a weekly Grand Ward Round with our senior Consultant Physician, Prof CPH. Once we were discussing about a young man with SLE (Systemic Lupus Erythematosis) who presented with haematological manifestation (anemia & low platelet counts). Because of the low platelet, he was instructed to have CRIB (Complete Rest In Bed) to avoid any traumatic bleeding. However, he developed spontaneous bruising/ haematoma on his right thigh in the ward. Prof CPH, with a sense of humor, inquired if the patient’s girlfriend had visited him the night before. Instead of Complete Rest In Bed, they might have had another form of CRIB ie. “Couple Rolling In Bed”.

• I was post-call & doing my morning round when a middle-aged Chinese man approached me. It was a weekend so I was in t-shirt & jeans. The man was looking for a friend who was admitted to the ward. I told him to check at the nurses’ station, which is not very far from where we were. Surprisingly, he did not move but instead spoke to me sternly, “You are a nurse, aren’t you? Why are you not wearing your uniform?”

• I was using one of the Specialists’ room to see patients at the Medical Out-patient Clinic, as the specialist himself was away. When a particular patient was called, he walked into the room with this very disbelief look on his face. He said, “The sign on the door says ‘Dr. Kalwinder Singh Khaira’. I really didn’t expect to see a small Chinese lady doctor.”

• In our Medical Out-patient Clinic, elderly patients, in particular those who are confined to wheelchairs, are given priority to be seen first. We had one such patient (an old Chinese lady) one afternoon. When her name was called, her Indonesian maid wheeled her in to the consultation room & she was also holding a walking stick. When I was just about to get up to help her, she “miraculously” stood up, put her walking stick aside & walked gustily towards the consultation table. I was too stunned to say anything, but the assisting nurse was obviously annoyed. “Wah…hebat betul aunty ini. Main tipu lah dia,” she said sarcastically. Our patient, however, did not get the message as she can’t understand Malay.

• On another occasion, the Medical Out-patient Clinic received a call from a certain Datuk, who said that he was coming for review that particular day. The staff nurses became anxious about this VIP’s visit to the clinic & started making arrangements for him to be seen ahead of other patients. Dr. Tay CL, one of our Specialists, was “chosen” to see the patient. She was not very keen about the idea, being a strong believer in treatment equality, regardless of socio-economic status. “Datuk, Datuk, what Datuk? I only know 2 Datuks….my paternal & maternal grandfathers,” she said angrily.

• During one of my oncall duties as a Medical MO, I was referred a case from the Female Surgical Ward, where I used to work before. I greeted one of the nurses there, whom I have not seen for a while. “How are you?” I said & her reply? “Still the biggest & the fattest.”

• Our hospital’s blood bank has been running dry for the past one month. As the Haematology MO, where most of my patients require blood or blood product transfusion, I try my best to promote blood donation, especially among medical staff. When Dr AF, a Cardiologist, came to our ward to see referral cases, I took the opportunity to ask him to donate blood. “I’m sorry I can’t…because I don’t have enough myself,” he replied. “Someone caused me to have haematemesis (medical term for vomiting blood) yesterday…”