I still remember how we used to carry micropore plaster & torniquet around as housemen (especially in O&G posting) for IV (intravenous) line setting. Recently I found out another use of the micropore...
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
THANK YOU FOR CALLING
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell You which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, hang up. It doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. But Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons. You'll just mess it up.
(Courtesy of Dr. LJ)
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell You which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, hang up. It doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9-6-9-6.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. But Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons. You'll just mess it up.
(Courtesy of Dr. LJ)
INTERESTING SIGNS
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'
--------------------------------------------
In a Podiatrist's office:
'Time wounds all heels.'
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On a Maternity Room door:
'Push.. Push. Push.'
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At an Optometrist's Office:
'If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place.'
--------------------------------------------
*Got this on the email (from Dr. LJ of SGH Kuching)
'Dr. Jones, at your cervix.'
--------------------------------------------
In a Podiatrist's office:
'Time wounds all heels.'
--------------------------------------------
On a Maternity Room door:
'Push.. Push. Push.'
--------------------------------------------
At an Optometrist's Office:
'If you don't see what you're looking for,
you've come to the right place.'
--------------------------------------------
*Got this on the email (from Dr. LJ of SGH Kuching)
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
WHY LAH?
We change duty every month as part of our training. So this month I’m no longer in the clinic, but covering the chemotherapy daycare. If you thought the lack of soap in the clinic was bad enough, the consultation room at the daycare doesn’t even have a sink & obviously no soap. Every time after I examine a patient, I have to pop over to the nearest toilet to wash my hands. There is minimal soap there & no tissue. Patience is indeed a virtue.
To add salt to wound, the computer system has been down for more than a week now. As a result, I have been unable to trace patients’ blood results or view images (x-rays, CT scans, MRI etc) & this really hinders my job. Patients are obviously unhappy.
Patient 1 : How is my blood test?
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t seem to get it on the computer
Patient 2: What does my CT scan show?
Doctor: Hmm…sorry, I can’t get the images on the computer
Patient 1: Why like this?
Patient 2: How come like that?
Doctor: I also don’t know lah, have to ask Mr. Liow
To add salt to wound, the computer system has been down for more than a week now. As a result, I have been unable to trace patients’ blood results or view images (x-rays, CT scans, MRI etc) & this really hinders my job. Patients are obviously unhappy.
Patient 1 : How is my blood test?
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t seem to get it on the computer
Patient 2: What does my CT scan show?
Doctor: Hmm…sorry, I can’t get the images on the computer
Patient 1: Why like this?
Patient 2: How come like that?
Doctor: I also don’t know lah, have to ask Mr. Liow
WHAT'S THAT?
I was a refered a case from the Orthopaedic Ward during my recent oncall. The patient (we shall call her Mdm X) was an elderly lady with breast cancer & metastasis to the spine with cord compression. The symptom of lower limb weakness (as a result of spinal cord compression) had been present for about 2 months, but there is no total paralysis yet. So the neurological deficit may still be reversible (either with high dose steroid, radiotherapy or even surgery). After reviewing Mdm X, I wrote down my plan in the her folder:
1) Continue analgesia
2) Worthwhile to start Dexa
3) To discuss with Oncologist about radiotherapy
etc
Shortly after I left the ward, the Orthopaedic staff nurse (SN) called me on my handphone:
SN: Doctor tadi review Mdm X kan?
Me: Uh-huh…
SN: Dalam plan, nombor satu, continue analgesia, yang tu saya faham…tapi nombor dua, worthwhile to start Dexa…apa itu worthwhile?
* Analgesia means pain relief
* Dexa is short for Dexamethasone, which is a steroid
1) Continue analgesia
2) Worthwhile to start Dexa
3) To discuss with Oncologist about radiotherapy
etc
Shortly after I left the ward, the Orthopaedic staff nurse (SN) called me on my handphone:
SN: Doctor tadi review Mdm X kan?
Me: Uh-huh…
SN: Dalam plan, nombor satu, continue analgesia, yang tu saya faham…tapi nombor dua, worthwhile to start Dexa…apa itu worthwhile?
* Analgesia means pain relief
* Dexa is short for Dexamethasone, which is a steroid
MEMOIRS OF AN ONCALL DOCTOR - TGIS
People told me it was going to be very quiet in the ward during Hari Raya, as everybody “balik kampung” during the festive season. But it was not to be. I broke the tradition by filling up the ward with multiple admissions from the A&E (accident & emergency). I used to just get some “sprinkle” of my housemate’s “Jonah-ness”, but I think this time around, it’s the Jonah Hurricane.
Day: 6 out of 7
8.00am
Drive to work
Ward round at Male & Female Wards
10.30am
Finish ward round
Paper work
Phone rings
A&E MO: Eh, you’re oncall again?
Me: Yup
A&E MO: I thought you were oncall yesterday…& the day before yesterday…&…
Me: We’re oncall the whole week, Monday to Sunday
A&E MO: Wah…tak pengsan ke?
Me: (Memang nak pengsan lah ni)
A&E MO: By the way, I have another case to refer...
11.00am
Clerk in the new case
Can’t view blood results & x-ray images on computer – system down
Problems arise in the ward
Attend to problems
12.30pm
Feeling extremely hungry
Food court & canteen both close (for Hari Raya)
Drive out to nearest restaurant (which happens to be KFC)
12.45pm
Queue up at KFC
Many customers
Only 1 counter open
1.00pm
My turn to order
Phone rings
Staff nurse needs me in the ward
Take away festive combo (damn hungry)
1.20pm
Settle problem in the ward
Go to car (to drive home & eat)
Phone rings
Staff nurse needs me again in the ward
1.40pm
Drive home
Have lunch
Lie down for a while, exhausted
3.00pm
Phone rings
Day: 6 out of 7
8.00am
Drive to work
Ward round at Male & Female Wards
10.30am
Finish ward round
Paper work
Phone rings
A&E MO: Eh, you’re oncall again?
Me: Yup
A&E MO: I thought you were oncall yesterday…& the day before yesterday…&…
Me: We’re oncall the whole week, Monday to Sunday
A&E MO: Wah…tak pengsan ke?
Me: (Memang nak pengsan lah ni)
A&E MO: By the way, I have another case to refer...
11.00am
Clerk in the new case
Can’t view blood results & x-ray images on computer – system down
Problems arise in the ward
Attend to problems
12.30pm
Feeling extremely hungry
Food court & canteen both close (for Hari Raya)
Drive out to nearest restaurant (which happens to be KFC)
12.45pm
Queue up at KFC
Many customers
Only 1 counter open
1.00pm
My turn to order
Phone rings
Staff nurse needs me in the ward
Take away festive combo (damn hungry)
1.20pm
Settle problem in the ward
Go to car (to drive home & eat)
Phone rings
Staff nurse needs me again in the ward
1.40pm
Drive home
Have lunch
Lie down for a while, exhausted
3.00pm
Phone rings
Help is needed in the ward
6.30pm
Settle problem in the ward
Go home for dinner
8.00pm
Phone rings
Staff nurse needs advice
10.00pm
Go to bed
10.30pm
Phone rings
Staff nurse needs advice
1.20am
Phone rings
A&E MO needs advice
3.00am
Phone rings
Staff nurse needs advice
5.00am
Phone rings
Staff nurse needs advice
6.30am
Alarm clock rings
Thank God it’s Sunday (ie. last day oncall)
Hand over pager 8am Monday
6.30pm
Settle problem in the ward
Go home for dinner
8.00pm
Phone rings
Staff nurse needs advice
10.00pm
Go to bed
10.30pm
Phone rings
Staff nurse needs advice
1.20am
Phone rings
A&E MO needs advice
3.00am
Phone rings
Staff nurse needs advice
5.00am
Phone rings
Staff nurse needs advice
6.30am
Alarm clock rings
Thank God it’s Sunday (ie. last day oncall)
Hand over pager 8am Monday
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