WHO ARE YOU II

I would definitely remember Sarawak General Hospital & its "community" (after all Sarawak is a place like no other) but I think with this post, I would remember them even better. It's funny how certain nick names actually come about.

• Kayu: Stiff as a piece of wood, often engages in monotonous & monosyllabal conversation & has a "masked-like face"

• Cousin-in-law: From surname 'Law'

• X-man: From first letter of name

• King Kong Bundy: Physical appearance & gait

• Bawang besar & bawang kecil: A staff nurse & a JM (Jururawat Masyarakat) who are best friends but different in body physique

• Twins: 2 male Surgical Registrars who are always seen together (someone commented that they seem to be closer to each other than to their wives)

• Olive (Poepye's wife): Because of physical appearance

• Major babe: Hot, sexy & still unattached

• Midget: This one's a bit mean, but thank god it's not me :p

• Gikun: Short for gigi kuning (this one's kinda mean too)

• Baby (as in "baby sihat"): 2 male doctors share the same nick name

DOOR TO DINNER TIME

The Cardiac Department of Sarawak General Hospital holds an annual Cardiac Dinner with the wife of the Sarawak's Chief Minister as the guest of honour. According to those who attended the dinner, her speeches seem to get longer & longer each year. A colleague of mine has planned to bring her story book to read at the next dinner!

NAME LONGITIS

If you have visited the website kennysia.com, you would have come across a post with the title "Datuknameistoolongitis". He is talking about the roundabouts in Kuching, Sarawak. Not only are they huge, their names are really long too, especially those in Petra Jaya area. In fact, names of roads are no different. Sarawak General Hospital, where I worked, for example, is situated along Jalan Tun Ahmad Zaidi Adruce, named after the former Tuan Yang Terutama (Governer) of Sarawak. Parallel to Jalan Tun Ahmad Zaidi Adruce is Jalan Tun Haji Abang Openg. Common sense would tell you that Haji should come after Tun & Abang comes after Haji, but sometimes one may get confused (like yours truly) & the Tun, Haji & Abang come out in a different order than what they should be (with due respect to the late ex-Governer of Sarawak).

IS THAT A NERVE OR A BLOOD VESSEL

This is the conversation between a surgeon & his assisting House Officer (HO) during a total thyroidectomy (removal of the whole thyroid gland) in the OT (operating theatre):

Surgeon: Retract properly

HO: Ok

Surgeon: Are you falling asleep?

HO: No

Surgeon: Then retract properly

HO: (Suddenly, after a period of silence) Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…

Surgeon: (Startled) What??

HO: Nothing

Surgeon: @#$%!

HO: (Again, after a period of silence) Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh…

Surgeon: (Startled for the second time) What??!

HO: Is that a nerve or a blood vessel? I think it’s a nerve.

Surgeon: Can you please shut up, I didn’t ask you. You’ re banned from coming to my OT.

(This may actually serve as a tip for those who are "non-surgical minded" & not keen to assist in operations, especially long ones. Perhaps you could try getting yourself banned from going to the OT. Just kidding.)

WHAT DO YOU CALL

These are some of the jokes my colleagues & I heard as medical students:


Q: What do you call the muscle that turns the head?
A: Gluteus maximus


Q: What do you call a medical student inside the operating theatre?
A: A space occupying lesion


Q: What do you call two Orthopedic surgeons trying to read an ECG?
A: A double-blind study


Q: What do the ENT surgeon call a chronic sinusitis?
A: Hell on earth


(Gluteus maximus is the main muscle of the buttock)

MEDICAL RECIPE

The franchise restaurant Secret Recipe had just set up its first branch in Kuching. Some of my doctor friends joked about opening a restaurant in the future should they quit doing Medicine for whatever reason. Instead of Secret Recipe, it would be known as "Medical Recipe":

• Menu would comprise of health food only
  


• Drinks would be served on cups & glasses in the shape of syringes
  


• Instead of using aprons, waiters & waitresses would be wearing white coats (We must comply to the Ministry of Health’s policy)
  


• Dim sum would be served on Emergency Trolleys
  


• Seats would come in the form of bed pans
  


• Tables could be leveled up & down like the hospital beds, according to customers’ preference
  
  

KIA ORA

Kia Ora from the hot & blazing Kuala Lumpur. Kia Ora is hello or greetings in New Zealand's Maori Language. In another foreign language, I was told, Kia Ora actually means "What's the time?" Anyway, the heat in KL is almost unbearable & not to mention the never ending bumper to bumper jams. I wonder how I would survive here for the next 4 years. I guess laughter is the best medicine. Here are some posts which were written back in Kuching.