MISCALLEANOUS II

• One of the Staff Nurses from the Radiotherapy Unit was hired as a helper to take care of a patient warded at Female Medical. The patient was intubated & connected to the life support machine, thus required continuous & intensive care, including regular suction of the intra-tracheal tube. While doing suction, the Staff Nurse was spotted by a doctor at the ward, who was surprised to see a helper doing that. Though she took up the job outside working hours, she did not want her identity as a hospital staff to be known. When questioned by the doctor about her ability to perform nursing care, the Staff Nurse replied, in an Indonesian accent, “Saya Sista dari Indon, doc. Kalau suction macam ni bisa saya buat, doc.”

• A Chinese lady with psychiatric illness was seen by my former colleague at the A&E, YY, for a particular complaint. After the meeting, the patient seemed to have fallen head over heels on YY. She started sending love letters to the A&E using scented envelopes with cute stickers stuck on them. To our surprise, she actually has a good command of English & very neat handwriting. Each letter was at least 2 to 3 pages long. Once she came to A&E to look for YY when I was on duty. YY was on leave if I’m not mistaken & I had just cut my hair really short at that time. The patient approached me & I told her that YY was not around. In her next letter to YY, she wrote, “I came to A&E to look for you the other day but the trainee boy told me you were not working.”

• There have been many medical dramas on television, such as Scrubs, House, Grey’s Anatomy, Medicine Ball, Medical Investigations, ER & Chicago Hope. While Scrubs is hilarious, Grey’s Anatomy can be in a way classified as a super-soft porn. As a medical student, I used to love watching ER & Chicago Hope. But I think the best medical drama is the one we watch “live” everyday at the Sarawak General Hospital. My colleague, LJ, calls it “Kuching Hopeless - Oncall Teruk.”

• The public hospital in Brunei Darussalam is called Rumah Sakit Isteri Perempuan Anak Saleha or RIPAS for short. It is named after Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah’s Consort. A friend once told me a joke about Bruneians being afraid to go to the hospital as RIPAS also stands for “Rest In Peace After Surgery.”

• Dr. B, the Oncology Head of Department, has been working in Sarawak General Hospital for the last one & a half decade. Originally from India, she had worked in Singapore for a couple of years before coming to Malaysia. Not being familiar with the ethnic groups in Sarawak when she first arrived in the state, she was surprised to see a Kenyah (Orang Ulu) lady who was referred from a district hospital. “This patient came all the way to Kuching? Why is she so fair?” Dr. B had asked the nurses. She mistook Kenyah as Kenya, the African country.

• Once I received a call from the staff of a courier company, who wanted to send a parcel to me at my working place. I gave him directions to my clinic at the Radiotherapy Unit (RTU), which is a separate building from the main hospital block. He said he had never been to that part of the hospital, so I described to him the exact location of the RTU, in relation to the main block & other nearby structures, including the mortuary & the student nurses’ hostel. When my parcel arrived, I couldn’t stop myself from laughing. Written in large bold letters beside my name & address was “Belakang Rumah Mayat, Unit Rediotopi”.

• It is a well known fact that Government documents in Malaysia take at least 6 months to get processed. I remember the time when I first came back from New Zealand & wanted to apply for a post. I had called up the One Stop Centre (set up by the Ministry of Health to help foreign graduates with their applications) & greeted the operator good morning. Instead of returning my greeting, she barked at me with “Apa kau mau? Tak pandai cakap Melayu kah?” Well, this is Malaysian Public Service. I got my job after 6 months. A colleague of mine, LWC, has been working for the past 6 years but have yet to be confirmed in service. His documents have not been processed by the respective departements within the Ministry of Health. He had made countless telephone calls to the Ministry but was pushed from one person to another. Frustrated & almost blowing his top, he was finally directed to the “correct” person, only to find out that the officer was out attending a function ie. “Majlis Pekerja Cemerlang”.