TALES OUT OF MEDICAL SCHOOL

• During our first year of Medical studies at International Medical College (IMC), we were taught by our professor, Dr. PJT, that one of the investigations needed for the diagnosis of a particular disease was a “namby pamby CT Scan” (which I think, in plain English, means “the same old CT Scan”). When the question came out in our semester exam, a number of us in the class (myself included), being ignorant at that time, actually wrote down the answer exactly as what we were told, i.e. “namby pamby CT Scan”.

• As a second year medical student, I was asked to take history from an “Orang Asli” patient during one of our weekly visits to our teaching hospital in Seremban. She complained that her body had swollen up and she was having occasional cough. “There, like her,” she said, as she pointed to a fairly plump nurse who happened to walk past us. “When do you cough?” I asked, hoping to identify aggravating factors which brought on the cough or made it worse. I was amused to hear her answer, “I cough when I cough lah.” She sounded annoyed.

• During one of our weekly visits to our teaching hospital as third year medical students, my classmate KT was assigned to take history from a Malay lady who could not speak or understand English. The patient was admitted for abdominal pain and distension. The conversation was going on quite smoothly in Malay until a point where KT wanted to find out if the patient has passed wind or belched. She couldn’t think of how to ask the question in Malay so she said, “Ada ‘urgh-urgh’ dan ‘put-put’?”

• On another occasion, KT was instructed by our clinical tutor, Prof JW, to listen to a patient’s heart sounds. With enthusiasm and confidence KT took out her stethoscope and listened carefully to the patient’s chest. With a worried look on her face, she informed our tutor that the patient did not have any heart sounds. Everyone had a good laugh when we realised that KT had the stethoscope earpiece the other way around!

• KT also had a tendency to doze off in class. She had tried to chew bubble gum to keep herself awake, but it did not work. One day during Clinical Psychology class, our lecturer, Dr. Caroline Logan, suddenly stopped lecturing, walked up the steps in our lecture hall to where KT was seated and whispered something into her ears before continuing lecture again. The whole class was curious, but we managed to ask KT about it only after the lecture had ended. Dr. Logan had told her, “Next time, please drink a cup of coffee before you come to my class.”

• Dr. Paul Jambunathan was also another lecturer who taught us Clinical Psychology in medical college. He was a funny guy with a great sense of humor and was always “young at heart”. (I think he probably still is) During one of our first few classes with him, a classmate interrupted the lecture to ask a question. “Excuse me, Sir…” our friend said, raising his hand so as to be noticed. But before he could ask his question, Paul interjected and said, “Don’t call me Sir. You can call me Paul or you can even call me Jambu, but pleeeeeease don’t call me Sir.”

• One of the lecturers who taught us Anatomy was Dr. NBR, an expatriate from India. With a heavy Indian accent, he would teach us about the “spinal kard” (spinal cord) and the various “argans” (organs) in the body. During one of his classes, we were interrupted by a staff from the administration office, who came to inform Dr. NBR that his wife was on the phone. We were both surprised and amused when he replied, “Which one?”

• Dr. DP was a visiting lecturer who came all the way from Scotland for our Genetics module. On the first day, he proudly announced that he had just learnt his first Malay word and greeted all of us with a “Selamat Paji”. Every morning, without fail, he would say “Selamat Paji” to us before starting lecture. This went on for about a month before we decided to tell him the correct pronunciation.

• Dr. KK was another visiting lecturer from Scotland, who came to teach us Respiratory Medicine. He was tall, fair and quite handsome. Some of the girls wondered if he was married. During one of his lectures on Power Point, he showed us a picture of a small Caucasian girl in between his slides and proudly announced that it was his daughter, who was celebrating her birthday that particular day. A majority of the class responded with “Oooh”, “Ahhh” and “How sweet”, and then there was a huge “Sigh” coming from the back row (a female voice obviously).

• I had written an article about Princess Diana shortly after she and her companion Dodi Al-Fayed died in a tragic car accident back in 1997. It was published in the tabloid “The Sun” with the heading “In Mourning of Princess Diana”, along with my passport size photograph just next to the heading. One of our clinical tutors at medical college, Dr. Jag, had pasted the newspaper cutting on the students’ notice board. A senior approached me a few days after that. She said, “I was so shocked to see your photo next to the words ‘In Mourning of’. I thought you died. Thank God you’re okay.”

• One of the mnemonics which I can recall from our medical college days is “Caroline Logan has a Great Sexy Body” (for the different dermal layers in the skin i.e. Stratum Corneum, Stratum Lucidum, Stratum Germinativum, Stratum Stellate and Stratum Basale). Dr. Caroline Logan (as mentioned earlier) was one of the lecturers who taught us Clinical Psychology.

• Our college newsletter, “Med About U”, was produced once every two months by the Students’ Editorial Board, with Dr. Caroline Logan as the advisor. Different lecturers were being interviewed for each edition. One of the routine questions was “Why do men have nipples?” I particularly liked the answer given by our Deputy Dean at the time, Dr. Ong Kok Hai: “I suppose it’s the same as why women have nipples. But it is what is behind the nipples that is important.”

• In medical school, we learnt that a complete abdominal examination includes checking the genitalia and doing a PR (per rectal) examination. PR (or DRE for Digital Rectal Examination) involves putting the right index finger into the patient’s backside, mainly to feel for any mass and to examine the stool. “It is a sin to not do a PR on patients with gastrointestinal symptoms,” one of our professors in IMC once told us. “There are only two instances where you can’t perform a PR,” he continued, “Number one, you don’t have an index finger, and number two, the patient has no asshole.”

• I have always received comments about being ‘under-sized’ for my age. While I was studying in New Zealand, where everyone is much bigger in size than me, I was always mistaken for being younger than my actual age. On the first day of my Surgical attachment as a fifth year medical student, I was called to the operating theatre to assist in an operation. There, I met my supervisor for the first time. He was already at the table half way through the procedure. After gearing up for the surgery, I approached the table and greeted him. He looked at me and said, “Oh my God! That is the smallest pair of hands I’ve ever seen.” During an End of Year Formal Dinner at the end of my final year, as a 24-year-old, I won myself a “Paediatric Award” – for being mistaken as a child of a Chinese patient at the hospital!

• As a final year medical student in New Zealand, my classmate WY who was also my housemate at the time, assisted her O&G (Obstetric and Gynaecology) Registrar in a hysterectomy. Before the procedure began, WY was given the opportunity to practise inserting a urinary catheter for the patient. At the end of the operation, one of the operating theatre nurses noticed that the urinary bag was filled with blood instead of urine. WY had accidentally inserted the urinary catheter into the wrong orifice!