MISCALLEANOUS III

• I was giving chemotherapy to a female patient at the Radiotherapy Unit when she read what was written on my name tag (ie. Dr. Flora). “How to pronounce your name?” she asked, “Drf…Drf…Drflora, wah so difficult to pronounce one, are you Iban or Bidayuh?”

• When a patient comes in with a heart attack, there must be prompt diagnosis & prompt intervention for the best outcome. The Cardiologists always preach about “Door to balloon time” (ie. from patient’s arrival to the hospital to the time of angioplasty) which should be less than 60 minutes. Balloon refers to angioplasty. Another phrase commonly used by these heart doctors is “Time is myocardium & myocardium is time”. (Myocardium is the medical term for heart muscles) My friend WL, who is an MRCP (Member of the Royal College of Physician) candidate, complained about a particular Cardiologist, Dr. L, who is always late for teaching sessions: “Door to teaching time is more than 60 minutes!”.

• A former colleague of mine at the Accident & Emergency (A&E) Department, CSW, had a unique way of telling me she was pregnant. During our afternoon shift together, she said to me (in a serious tone), “I’ve just been to the Antenatal Clinic. There’s something growing inside me.”

• A transexual male visited our A&E once when I was on night duty. He complained of chest discomfort & shortness of breath. I asked my nurses to do an ECG (electrocardiogram) on him as he had a previous history of heart problem. While doing the test, I heard my nurses say behind the curtains, “His boobs are bigger than ours.”

• A 21 year old male was brought in to the A&E one Sunday morning after he fitted during an alcohol binging session with his friends. He was clad only in his underwear & there was a spoon in his mouth. His friends thought removing his clothing might help & the spoon was to prevent tongue-biting during seizure. We ran a number of investigations, including blood tests & an urgent CT scan of the brain, but all the results came out negative. Most likely the patient had fitted as a result of alcohol intoxication. One of the A&E Medical Assistants (MA), TBT, read my report on the patient with much enthusiasm & interest. However, at the end of it, he seemed to be interested only in one thing (ie. the underwear). “What do you mean he was clad only in underwear? You mean he was only wearing underwear ah?” he asked.

• A senior Staff Nurse at the RTU (Radiotherapy Unit) Ward told us about a funny incident that happened when she was working at the Labour Ward many years ago. A cleaner had found a pair of glasses on the floor next to a lady who had just delivered a baby. Assuming it was the patient’s, the cleaner just put it on her without asking. The doctors & nurses got panicky when the patient complained of sudden blurring of vision after giving birth. They thought it was pre-eclampsia (a high blood pressure symdrome which occurs during the perinatal period) as blurry vision is one of the symptoms. They only found out what happened after much questioning. The patient (who is from the kampung & uneducated), actually thought that every woman would be given glasses after she has delivered a baby.